Sunday, October 6, 2013

I'm BACK

Ah yes - good to be back! Where did I leave off? Oh right..

"I was born dreaming that one day, I would get to rally, and now every time I strap into the car, I live that dream, and I won't stop pushing until the day I've fulfilled every ounce of my potential." - December 2008

So long story short - 5 years later and I'm back here, still trying to chase that dream - albeit a little older, much much wiser, more experienced rally wise (but not as exceptionally well experienced as my peer group here back when I was 21), and with a few extra responsibilities. Regardless, it's good to be back, and I'm proud that I was able to figure out a way back that allowed me to stay for as long as I need.

Moving in here has been - well a bit of a reality check although I don't mean that pejoratively.  Over the past few months, I never really comprehended what I was doing, since it has been hectic as fucking hell, trying to wrap up a project with a deadline conveniently on my last day of work, taking care of all the little details of going about the move, some of which seemed like they wouldn't be that hard (i.e. selling the car, finding a flat), but ended up costing me countless weeks of frustration; not to mention the awesome time consumers like Easier Said Than Done movie premieres, visiting friends and family, partying one last time with friends, and moving all my stuff (ok the last part probably isn't that fun). I've been here and finally 5 days later I'm finally starting to comprehend where I am. It's odd waking up and everything that once seemed so far away is now so close. I mean that literally, as in physical distance. I walk out of my house and it's friggin the Tower of London! but I guess there's some truth to it figuratively as well ;-)

You know - when you tell everyone back home you're moving here, they're like "OMG THATS AWESOME!! ITS GOING TO BE AMAZING!!" and when you get here, people are like "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" The grass is always greener on the other side I guess, but what's difficult is, for first time in a long time you're confronted with being critical about your decision, and it's coming from people who know more than you about where you live (although maybe not so much about where you're from). It's almost a negative conversation to justify it (almost like, "it really is that bad!"). However, I had an awesome time in Philly and a great time in America. I had so many of the most greatest friends anyone could ask for, and I never had the time to dedicate enough time as I wanted to any of them. I went to work everyday with some of my best friends. I went home to my neighbors that were some of my best friends, my landlords that were some of my best friends, my boss that was one of my best friends, all the drivers I raced with over the past 2 years were my best friends, then I'd come into service and have the car taken care of by my best friends, I was filmed extensively and subsequently shamelessly promoted by one of my best friends, and watched the best rally film ever with my best friends. While I certainly have it good here - it's tough when you realize, you left all of that. I rarely had to do anything with people I didn't love, and now I start all over again.

Honestly, sometimes I do wonder why I keep putting myself through constant distress and discomfort just as soon as my life gets comfortable, but it's because I love this sport. As many others have said - this sport is my life, and it's created a methodology of going about life that has pushed me to see so much more of the world and people. Throwing yourself into a knowingly terrifying situation, when mixed with passion and determination to not only succeed but to fully experience both the highs and the lows, always yields results, always yields experiences, always yields growth. Everyone has problems. In fact, I probably have more problems now than I ever had at any other time during my life. But they're GOOD problems - and that's what I've finally come to realize. If you do better you won't eliminate problems, you'll just add more good problems! Moving to London to give myself a better shot of becoming a better and more successful co-driver all while trying to work a fairly serious weekday career and maintain the relationships I care about? Those are some good problems, but it's all Easier Said Than Done - for real.

I'm going to be so friggin busy, and writing blogs takes A LOT of time when you're not a natural writer I suppose. If only I was better at this, I could write something meaningful from the top of my head and post it here instantly, but to say anything meaningful, it takes me a LOT of work and re-work. Still, my goal is the same as Petter Solberg's as said quite simply in his last line of Easier Said Than Done, "I do this sport with a lot of passion, with a lot of love. I try to share everything with everybody, so you can see what we're doing yeah?"

I'll try to do the same for all of you and hopefully it's a good read.

Also hopefully more ACTUAL rally content soon!

Thanks,
Alex

2 comments:

Emanuel Mozes said...

Great read Alex and I totally get your move to England to pursue your co-driving career. I think you will be amazed of how much you will grow by being in that environment. Rally every chance you get. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do and keep us posted. Keep living that dream!!!

Unknown said...

Well done, Alex. It's awesome that you made the move and stepped out of your comfort zone! On to better and brighter futures.

Now I just need to keep up with your blog (which reads exceptionally well due to your many years at Governor Mifflin) and schedule a trip to visit you!